now with a sequel:

I Swear I’m Not Pregnant, I’m Just Naming Characters

Don’t forget: I’m not Trying to Break Into This Building, I Just Need to Know the Layout of it

And the ever appealling: I’m Not Planning on Killing Myself, I Just Need to Know How a Character Could Commit Suicide Whilst Making it Look Like a Murder

I recommend

I’m Not a Terrorist, I Just Need to Know How a Criminal Mastermind Would Properly Construct a Bomb

And my personal favourite

I Swear I’m Not Sick I Just Like Making Characters Suffer By Giving Them Deadly Diseases

How about: I’m Not Religious, I’m Only Trying to Invent Scientific Words with Parts of Dead Languages

I’m Not a Priest, I Just Need to Know Various Methods of Exorcism

You’re forgetting the ever amazing I’m Not A Drug Addict I Just Need To Know How Much Heroin Costs and What Will Happen To Me If I Take It

#wow all these new fob song titles are cool (via wayward-sons-and-fallen-angels)