Silver Tongue
Law enforcement should use 4-year-olds to do interrogations.
Kid: who are you?
Suspect: I'm Bob.
Kid: why are you here?
Suspect: the cops think I killed my brother
Kid: why?
Suspect: I didn't kill him, he was my brother
Kid: why?
Suspect: because...he just was. We were both born from the same parents.
Kid: why?
Suspect: because we just were. Our parents had 3 kids.
Kid: why?
Suspect: they just did, okay? My brother and I were twins and then a few years later my little sister came along.
Kid: why?
Suspect: she just - look, never mind. I didn't kill my brother. I loved him.
Kid: why?
Suspect: why what - Why didn't I kill my brother or why did I love him?
Kid: why?
Suspect: I had no reason to kill my brother! Why would I want to kill my family?
Kid: Why?
Suspect: I wouldn't! I mean, we're not exactly the closest family but still...
Kid: why?
Suspect: just because.
Kid: because why?
Suspect: because I said so!
Kid: why?
Kid: whyyyy?
Kid: why why why why why why why why
Kid: whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywh-
Suspect: BECAUSE MOMMY AND DADDY LOVED MY BROTHER THE MOST
Kid: why
Suspect: he was born first! He was seven minutes older! I was always living in his shadow!
Kid: why
Kid: WWWWHHHHHHYYYYY
Kid: WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWH-
Kid: WHY!WHY!WHY!WHY!WHY!
Suspect: BECAUSE HE KNEW I WAS A KILLER! I killed my family! I killed my brother!
I KILED THEM ALL!!!
Kid: why
Suspect: I JUST WANTED TO BE LOVED
Kid: why
Suspect: I...I don't know.
Kid: ok. I'm gonna go play with my Legos
Head Detective: kid, we've been trying to crack this case for a year and you did it in 4 minutes.
Kid: can I have a lollipop now?
Head Detective: just one. Your mom doesn't want to ruin your dinner.
Kid: why
Head Detective: oh dear god
Reblogged 8 years ago from zeroyalviking (Originally from fnurfnur)
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