hey, yeah, can we not with this “testing people” thing
because if you feel the need to “test” someone then that means you’re trying to make them prove things to you without their knowledge. you are trying to control them. you are manipulating them. there are a variety of reasons people may not contact you first, including but not limited to
- they need alone time
- they prefer to be approached
- they’re too shy
- they feel smothered
- they’re tired
- they’re busy
- they’re directing their attention to other people (though not your expense because people can have multiple friends!!)
- it doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t miss you
- or don’t like you
- you can’t read peoples’ minds
- don’t put words in their mouths
- it makes you look like an asshole
how about when you feel like your needs aren’t being met in a relationship, you fucking talk about it instead of being a jerk and doing this
It’s terribly unfair to set invisible standards in relationships and then expect your friends to live up to them/be inexplicably disappointed in them when they don’t.
Seriously I used to do this all the time to everyone and all I can say is GROW OUT OF IT. Grow out of it as quickly as possible.
newsflash: people have lives that don’t center around you
I really hate being the person to approach.