shitpeoplesaytowomendirectors:

I had been working in the prop department for a television show for at least two months out of four.

My superiors at first were clearly uncomfortable with a female presence, unsure if I could lift equipment or really, handle their dirty sense of humor on and off set. I stuck through all their “worries” about me being able to handle my job and frankly, worked my ass off, to the point where other department heads constantly complimented me to my boss. After several other MEN on set approved of my work ethic, they seemed to ease up, and become more themselves. We always joked around on and off set, but the longer I stayed, the less they hid the overtly sexist overtones that seemed to comprise every essence of their being; whether that be how a department is run, who gets what tasks, or even who gets to speak. 

Once, they joked to me that I was a hard worker, but still had “a ways to go.” They then made an off-hand comment, relating “a ways to go” to my department head’s next orgasm. The co-worker directly above me then proceeded to nudge me and state, “Now that should be your REAL goal if you ever want to get anywhere in this department. Hell, that’s the day you’ll replace me!”

They continued on with “jokes” such as this, my sexuality typically being at the expense, until the end of the first season, and even into the second one. Throughout all this time, I began to care less and less about impressing them. I did not smile towards them or brush off any sexual jabs. Arguments over the innocence of this humor arose and I stopped hanging out with them outside of work, never shared anything personal anymore, and most of all, I NEVER laughed at their jokes. I focused on my job, and did not attempt to remain friends with them. I stayed on the show for a while, due to being raised in an environment where I was taught to never abandon commitments I had made professionally. I worked very hard and received little complaint. Ultimately though, despite upset and bewilderment from the rest of the crew (I had become family), I was let go of the position in the middle of the second season. But I wasn’t sad at all. This was a HUGE relief to me as I quickly moved on to work for better paying jobs and less “humor.” The war was over, and I would never have to see those coworkers again if I didn’t want to.

Weeks later, I ran into a makeup artist who I had befriended on set. Naturally, the conversation led to my old co-workers, who had hired a man to fill my old position (shocking). I asked her frankly what I had done wrong, not thinking it serious, but wondering what her opinion was. I thought for sure she would say something about inadequacy in something I did for them. She hesitated and said to me, “Well, I think it was mainly that you just didn’t think they were funny.”