rangerhanna-56:

hanchinesemeany:

attn: white youtubers

stop.

we are not your aesthetic.

wanna be asian? fine

be asian — but don’t just take my

skin and my eyes,

you better take

getting “konnichiwa” shouted at you in the streets

even though you’re not japanese

getting asked to speak your language for others

as though it were some sort of circus animal trick

getting asked about musical and TV genres

you don’t give two fucks about

by some bright eyed cracker who claims

to know so much about your culture

when all they know is kdramas

getting asked “are you chinese”

by everyone and their cousin

when you’re vietnamese, thai, hmong, or other

getting told you “don’t look asian”

because you don’t have black hair,

small eyes, and lily white skin

and hating having to live up to that

(and the dark asian girls? where are they

in your silly makeup tutorials? oh right,

nowhere… i wonder why that is)

you better take

creepy, crunchy guys telling you

about their asian fetish as the grease drips from their faces

and you inhale the scent of how many weeks they have gone

without washing their ass

entire sides of the internet dedicated

to fetishizing you, to posting porn about you,

even having kinks in which they want you

to call them ‘daddy’

simply because you are asian

and not even being able to google

‘asian girl’

without some fetishy bullshit popping up

seeing entire websites dedicated

to getting the fetishists those

‘submissive asian wives’ they want so badly

you better take

not ever being able to speak your own language

without being mocked, getting “ching chong”

shouted at you, or asked

what random strings of gibberish with an -ong or -ing

mean in english…

wanna be half asian? fine

be half asian — but don’t just take

my features

you better take

the tears i cried when i watched

a video called “why asian girls

go for white guys” because

i was living proof that the stereotype

is true — an embarrassment

you better take

how much i hated myself for not

being able to fit the stereotype

of what a han chinese person is “supposed”

to look like — i was too hairy,

my hair was too light, my eyes

weren’t small enough, my eyebrows

were too fat, too thick, too bushy and when

i told people my ethnicity they said i

“didn’t look chinese” and i didn’t have the words

to tell them how much of a slap that was

not just to my face but to my very soul

you better take

how i was always afraid to speak out

against anti-asian racism because i thought

that my opinion would only ever half-count

you better take

how many stereotypes i played into

no matter how uncomfortable they made me

just to avoid the dreaded ‘w word’ —

whitewashed. and this

eventually led to me letting myself

be taken advantage of in ways

i’m not proud of…

…and until you wear that on your face,

it doesn’t matter what makeup you put on

it doesn’t matter how real your wig looks

what powders you use

or what you do to your eyes

you will never be or look asian

you will never be or look half asian

you will never be or look like anything

other than what you are:

a disgusting,

racist,

fetishist white girl

who is no better

than creepy white men

with “yellow fever”