boinkbonk:

frostyginger:

When I was 15 I was on a trip with Ag studies group we went to an Olive Garden, I had never been to an Olive Garden before and I am a great bread enthusiast so when the waitress put this basket of delicious-sticks in front of me I was like ‘holy shit’ and ate like 10. I started shoving them into my purse to save for later, and the waitress had to keep bringing baskets of breadsticks because they were disappearing (into my purse). There were a lot of guys on that trip and I figured ‘yeah these teenage dudes could be in theory eating all these breadsticks’ so I thought I had a bulletproof cover.

Fast forward to when we are leaving, I get stopped by the manager and the hostess and they ask to look in my purse. Cue my ‘oh shit busted’ face and a grudging handing over of my bulging purse, to which they opened and started pulling out an obscene amount of breadsticks and laying them on the counter while the hostess counted them. I actually had no idea how many breadsticks I’d had in there and when the hostess got up to 40 I was still convinced I was going to jail but oh my god I had 40 breadsticks in there so I was kind of impressed with myself. The hostess kept counting.

Forty. Seven. 

Forty seven breadsticks was the total they found. (I had another two very squished and folded up in a zipped side pocket that they never looked in). They then took my picture and politely asked me to stay the fuck away from their restaurant as my picture would be posted on their ‘restricted list. To this day, 6 fucking years later, I have never gone back to any Olive Garden, because some part of me believes that some eagle eyed waitress will recognize me from a wanted poster for the Breadstick Bandit and I’ll have to explain to my mom why Olive Garden put me in prison