smurflewis

DONT ASK ME THIS, THIS IS HOW THE TROJAN WAR STARTED, I DONT WANT THIS MAN

ravenclawslibrary

Right away, Aphrodite popped into my head.

And then I’m just like, “DAMMIT, DID YOU LEARN NOTHING FROM PARIS? YOU ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT, AND NOW ALL THE TROJANS ARE DEAD. I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY.”

knitmeapony

If you are ever actually in this situation, pro-tip: name Persephone.  Half the goddesses will be too surprised to smite you immediately and while Hades won’t do you any favors he may at least high-five you while your on your way down.

28weekslaterhater

Another tip: name Mesperyian. Not only will you shock everyone, including her (since Aphrodite was a jealous ho who burnt half her face off), but you’ll win Hades’ favour. As his most beloved daughter, anything that praises her will make you a kind human to her, an okay human to him, and a genuinely good person to anyone else.

knitmeapony

I heartily endorse this alternative answer.

thestrangedaysofkrei

I love how all of this advice leads to “please Hades at all costs.”

silver-tongues-blog

Hades was actually pretty chill. He would let souls do as they please if the souls weren’t complete assholes. But Persephone, she was the one you had to appeal to. Whatever she says becomes underworld law. So if asked, say Persephone.