This one time I tripped
this one time I split my forehead open
This one time a dark wizard tried to kill me when I was a infant but couldn’t
Stab
I tried to hold an angry cat
someone put an iron on my hand
My teammate tried to jump over me and cut the back of my neck open with his hockey skate.
I got a couple left over from chicken pox.
tried to climb a dead tree
as a child I came up behind a sleeping dog with a squeaky toy in my mouth
Twisted up in rusty metal chains.
Learned the hard way:
- Why you don’t pull a cat’s tail (I was two)
- The importance of shoring up roof structures
- Why you don’t use a poorly balanced cinderblock as a support when drilling
- Burny things are hot
- Rotted fence palings make a surprisingly effective flail when they snap in half back along your inner arm as you pull them down.
- Win the fight before your opponent has the chance to hit you in the face with a metal chairSpider bite that got infected. Doctor informed me, “Oh, it must have bitten you while you were asleep!” and I stayed awake the entire next night in paralytic terror and also pain.
Poorly planned re enactment of 101 Dalmatians.
i was 2 and my mom told me not to do something but i did it anyway
I slipped and cut my arm open
I tried to peel an orange with a swiss army knife…
I ran to tell my mother about Doug’s First Movie..then subsequently ran towards a glass table with sharp edges
My sister threw her cat at me
A crack head ducked under my SWAT shield and stabbed me.
Cat was lying on my tummy and tried to grab onto me when he started to fall off
my sister ran me over with her bike
I had surgery after a collapsed lung
I was going down a ramp on a bike and hit a root sticking out of the ground
I was taking out the trash and there was broken glass in it.
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kairose207 liked this sweetiefuckingstop said: Burnt my leg while ironing a blouse for school last year. I got another one when I didn’t notice a thorn sticking out of my shoulder for half an hour.
ihaveatypeanditstrickstergods reblogged this from smangelangel and added:
A cyst on my leg got infected and became a boil. I was visiting relatives for Thanksgiving and thus had to go to my...
ahumoki0 liked this smangelangel reblogged this from cornistasiathecoblinking and added:
The back of my hand hit the top of my electric oven while checking on muffins (they weren’t that good)Wearing knock off...
cornistasiathecoblinking reblogged this from slashseeker and added: Bar fight (i won)
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dragonhawks-think-about-it reblogged this from australet789 and added: ° Fell head first into exposed wiring of a DVD player.° Ran on concrete and tripped. Scars on both knees.° Sliced the...
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leesgotwritersblock liked this andys-control-center reblogged this from arandomnerdsblog578 and added:
accidentally jumpscared my cat while he was watching my grandmother vacuum in terror, cat proceeded to practically jump...
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arandomnerdsblog578 reblogged this from snow-licity and added:
Fought a bitch in middle school cause she pushed me
snow-licity reblogged this from im-the-letter-t and added: Apple cutters are the death of me
im-the-letter-t reblogged this from boldlyshamlessfangirl and added: I ran into a laundry basket.
im-the-letter-t liked this avon-vila reblogged this from boldlyshamlessfangirl and added:
Did you know that some bikes use hand brakes instead of back pedaling? Now I know it, too.
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boldlyshamlessfangirl reblogged this from the-honey-dukes and added:
I was a baby and all available spots were taken so I had to have an iv line in my forehead.
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