rosexknight:

androgyn:

[intro of someone doing a normal day-to-day activity with someone else around. suddenly the camera goes blurry and the audio gets all distorted. they collapse, it cuts to black, the theme plays]

—-

cuddy: there’s this case. it’s weird because of these weird things. you might be interested

house: *limping through a hallway* im not interested

cuddy: but there IS this EXTRA weird thing about the case that i’m just mentioning as a side note

house: *grabs all the files out of her hand* i’ll do it

—-

[house, cameron, foreman, and chase are in house’s office. house is at the whiteboard]

house: the symptoms are this, this, this, and this. what could it be?

chase: well it could be [fairly common disease]

house: come on! think outside the box!

cameron or foreman: well…… i guess it COULD be [much more obscure disease]

house: now THAT makes sense. put them on [medication for obscure disease]. 

—-

[cameron, chase, or foreman are with the patient in the patient’s room]

cameron/chase/foreman: well, good news– you seem to be responding to treatment.

patient: *smiles* that’s great!

cameron/chase/foreman: and you can go home in a few days! *turns away briefly to write something on a clipboard*

[suddenly the patient starts shaking and convulsing and the monitor starts beeping really loud and fast]

cameron/chase/foreman: THEY’RE SEIZING! *GRABS PATIENT* ATIVAN, STAT! 

[it cuts to black with the monitor still going crazy]

—-

[house, cameron, chase, and foreman are back in house’s office with the whiteboard]

house: *snarkily* the treatment isn’t working. clearly it’s not [the first obscure disease]. any ideas?

cameron: it could be [another obscure disease], but this one symptom doesn’t match up.

house: it it possible……. our treatment could have caused that symptom?

cameron: oh my god…… yeah it’s definitely possible. get them on [medication for the second obscure disease] and [medication to reverse effects of the first medication], stat.

—-

[a shot of the patient wheezing and looking pale while hooked up to a bunch of tubes is shown. house looks in through the window to the room thoughtfully]

house: this treatment isn’t working either. at this rate they’ll be dead by tomorrow morning.

chase/cameron/foreman: we’ve tried everything……….

house: *sees something completely random in the hallway* *suddenly looks REALLY thoughtful* wait a minute……..

chase/cameron/foreman: what?

house: *explains a disease that’s even more obscure than the first two and that is vaguely related to the random hallway thing*

chase/cameron/foreman: well, if you’re wrong, the treatment will kill them.

house: only one way to find out…….

—-

[shot of medicine dripping into the iv, then fade to black]

[shot of patient looking significantly better, smiling and laughing]

chase/cameron/foreman: i can’t believe it worked……

house: *to the patient* we’ll have you home by tomorrow.

patient: thank you so much. *says something wise and deep that is vaguely related to house’s current emotional state*

house: *looks pensive*

[fade to black]

HAHAHAHAHA!!