At the last party I went to three drunk girls fishtail braided my hair by committee

a drunk girl drew an eye on the back of my hand and then patted it with satisfaction and  whispered “count olaf”

once at a barbecue a drunk girl gave the surgical scar on my shoulder a butterfly kiss and said “you’re cured”

A drunk girl at a bar I was at became worried that I wasn’t getting enough nutrition and proceeded to hold peanuts to my lips and just keep saying “peanut peanut” until I would eat it. And after I allowed her to feed me a peanut she pet my hair and said “Thank you”.

Drunk girls, saving your life one wtf at a time.

one time a drunk girl started crying because she said she loved my eyebrows so much

a drunk girl in blue pants, a white shirt, and a black vest held a broken bathroom stall door closed for me at a bar one night and i, another drunk girl, kept referring to her as “my hero, my han solo”