I’m a fucking pineapple woman. I can make any pizza instantly better.

Worse*

My shirt has a kabuki mask on it. Ffs I’m the villain from Big Hero 6 😑

And I’m shirtless -_-

The power of nudity 😂

Im fucking batman. Bless.

My shirt has the Star of David on it…..

In Stick Of Truth you’d be a class with Jewish ninja moves

That sounds horrible

But like you’d get ninja stars

That sounds horrible.

You can pitpocket

That’s anti-Semitic

You gave me a chance and you held the chance in front of me for so long I had to

A tank top and a bathrobe. TANK TOP HYGENICIST, THE WOMAN WHO CLEANSES THE CITY OF CRIME

I’m wearing a purple nightgown

i dont know what this means

I have this Guy on my shirt…

I am pleased.

You have THE Guy, way better than my Pringles shirt

I’m wearing a Stanford University shirt that says SU

I guess I can bully people into suicide over fanart and ships?

Guess I’m a Rogue of Heart now.

I’m a park service employee.

I have to power to keep the midway of a theme park clean during rush week, the power to convince young children Snoopy the beagle told me to tell them happy birthday, and the power to smile while contemplating just how painfully I would kill the fucking MIDDLE AGED ADULTS, who left a soupy mess of half eaten funnel cake with melted ice cream & sticky fruit topping on my tables, in my head

I have the amazing powers of nudity 

I have the power of pure whiteness. 

I’m gonna run for President. I’m sure to win with all this whiteness.