Murphy’s law, applied to fanfics.
- The fic starts out great, nice style, language, captivating summary. It’s unfinished and has been abandoned since 2013.
- The fic is complete, nice style, language, tons of kudos speak for themselves. It’s about your NOTP.
- The fic is about your OTP, it’s complete, it’s kinky as hell. The plot is absolutely dumbass.
- The plot sounds great, it’s about your OTP, it’s complete. The characters are horribly OOC.
- Everything is perfect in this fic, starting from the first letter and ending with the last full stop. It’s exactly 800 words long.
- The fic’s word count is a six-figure number, it’s about your OTP, characters are compliant with your head-canon. It’s dull and boring as seven hells.
- The beginning is enthralling, everything’s great, the plot, the style, it’s long and it’s even about your OTP. It features something that makes you close the tab as soon as you open it, like father/daughter incest or mpreg or some other squicky thing.
- Everything is perfect in this fic, the length, the characters, the language, the style, you forget you’re reading fanfic, thinking it’s a masterpiece of true literature, you cry tears of joy and write a huge review full of gushing love and then rush to the author’s profile to read every other thing they’ve written. It’s their only work.
I have only ever read one fic that I consider perfect. Ironically enough, it was about a mary sue who was sealed away for a thousand years and is romantically involved with an one of the most powerful characters and has a giant demon living inside him. Also, his grandfather was a dragon god.
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