teashoesandhair:

out-there-on-the-maroon:

swanjolras:

“aaaah donald trump is doing well and greece is collapsing and everyone is so mean on the news the world is going to hell nothing has ever been this bad”

LOOK:

• in 1838 france and spain went to war over a pastry chef
  
• famous astronomer tycho brahe literally died because he was too polite to get up from the table to go to the bathroom
• an orphanage in paris once raffled off babies for cash
• a bunch of hippies ran a 140-pound pig as a candidate for president in the ‘60s under the slogan “if we can’t have him in the white house, we can have him for breakfast.” the pig was immediately and in complete seriousness arrested by the police, along with his campaign staff
• in 1842 mexican general/dictator santa anna ordered elaborate funeral ceremonies held for his lost leg
• the president of france died from apoplexy in 1899 while being fellated in his office
  
• in the 17th century peter the great of russia banned beards because of reasons
• that time there were three popes and they spent forty years passive-aggressively excommunicating each other
• in 1968 the dictator of portugal slipped and fell and everyone thought he was going to die and he was replaced, and then when he unexpectedly recovered the government of portugal was too awkward to tell him he wasn’t leader of portugal any more and let him go on thinking he was for 2 years
• that time eight years ago when switzerland accidentally invaded lichtenstein
• napoleon bonaparte, conqueror of much of europe, once got in a fight with bunnies and lost

in conclusion: “deez nuts is ruining the solemnity and dignity of the political process, the world is going to hell” BELIEVE ME FRIEND HUMAN POLITICS HAS SURVIVED MORE RIDICULOUS THINGS THAN THIS AND WILL CONTINUE TO SURVIVE MORE RIDICULOUS THINGS THAN THIS FOR CENTURIES 2 COME

Tycho Brahe previously ran an observatory where he PARTY ROCKED with famous people from all over Europe, including his elk which drank beer until it died from being too wasted to handle stairs, and a psychic Little Person. He also had a fake nose make of silver or copper because he lost the real one in a duel in college. 

He was possibly poisoned and that’s why he died. 

• in 1325, the city states of Modena and Bologna went to war over the theft of a bucket (it was a bit more complicated than that, but the bucket was the final straw)
  
• Britain accidentally invaded Spain in 2002 
• Henry I of England died in 1135 from eating too many lampreys (a fish like an eel)

we gon be fine