working in retail is so f*cking crazy. it’s like an alternate universe. one time, I was scanning some deli cheese and the customer said, “that’s on sale for however much” and I said, “oh yeah that’s a good deal deli stuff can be expensive” then he says, “it’s for my friend. do you want to meet me friend?” and at this point I’m f*ckign terrified and he OPENS his JACKET and sitting in the inside pocket is a TINY DOG