trowel-and-error:

dysperdis:

bifeministagenda:

junglecottoncandy:

bpqsuggestion:

straight passing privilege doesn’t exist

I’d actually argue that it does. I’m in a relationship with a man, so if I come across someone who’s hostile to queer people, I can use my relationship to deflect that hostility away from me. Ace people, gay people, gender nonconforming people, and anyone who isn’t attracted to the ‘opposite’ gender dont have that same opportunity because most likely they’re not in a straight looking relationship.

It’s conditional “privilege” that only exists while you remain closeted. In order to access that “privilege”, you can’t talk about who you are, and you have to hide part of your identity. As soon as you tell somebody you’re bi, it’s gone. It’s generally used to invalidate bi people based on the gender of their current partner, and deny access to support and communities, and it involves making assumption about the gender of the people in the relationship.

And you know what? Gay people /do/ have the option of not talking about their relationship or sexuality, assuming they’re not with their partner at the time. But literally nobody argues that that’s a reasonable or positive thing because /it’s not/ a reasonable expectation. But when bi people have to not talk about their sexuality in order to be safe? That’s a privilege apparently.

And ace people? Ace people are told /all the time/ that they don’t “really” face discrimination because their asexuality isn’t obviously visible, especially heteromantic aces. People argue /all the time/ that ace people “have that same opportunity” to access the “privilege” of being assumed straight.

Being assumed straight isn’t a privilege. It’s heteronormativity. And heteronormativity hurts /everybody/ who’s not straight, no matter what their relationship.

also, as a trans person in a “straight-passing” relationship, can I add that what you call “straight passing privilege,” i experience as misgendering and non-binary erasure.

just something to think about when you start bringing up “gender nonconforming” people as an argument for “straight passing privilege” being a thing.

Two NB bi people are in a relationship. One of them is ace. People assume they are a cishet couple. This is not privilege, this is erasure