Report: None Of The 31 Americans Qualified To Be President Running This Year 

According to a report released Monday by political scientists at Georgetown University, not one of the 31 American citizens who actually possess the wisdom, integrity, poise under pressure, and sound judgment to be president of the United States is running in the 2016 election. “Of the less than three dozen currently-living Americans who have a hopeful and coherent vision for this country, as well as the leadership ability to see such a vision through to realization, not a single one is on the ballot in any state,” said political science professor Olivia Lin, noting that among the list of Americans capable of serving competently as commander-in-chief—which includes a U.S. Marines veteran, three emergency room nurses, and a Kia dealership manager in central Ohio—most had not even momentarily entertained the notion of running for president.

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