deliverusfromsburb

The fact that no time travelers have appeared to stop Donald Trump yet suggests one of two things: either he doesn’t win the election or he does and the entire world ends.

because-im-freaking-greed

Or Ted Cruz was the time traveller, and his participation in the race is part of a stable time loop which leads to Trump becoming President

deliverusfromsburb

Ted Cruz’s uncanny behavior and appearance are actually because he is an alien investigating the exact reasons why Earth became a charred cinder in galactic federation year 20967234. He dropped out when he realized the answer and is now making arrangements to be beamed away before it is too late.

youngvenuz

unfortunately due to a mishap during the beaming process he is sent to 1960’s northern california and is driven mad and thus becomes the zodiac killer

deliverusfromsburb

which we all gave him the idea for in the first place

momnar

case closed everyone hit the showers