The American Educational System Running Into A Door That Was Actually Closed At The Time is a horrible cop name but an intriguing idea for a piece of performance art maybe

hayley running-down-the-neighbor’s-driveway-while-wearing-jellies-and-skinning-your-knees-hands-elbows-face OR knocking-most-of-your-teeth-out-with-a-hand-held-weight

Sonia Mom Didn’t Stop Me From Putting My Hand On A Hot Stove Burner And As Far As I Can Recall May Have Actually Encouraged Me To Do So

Mandy Horny Toad

jessica falling-backwards-out-of-a-playhouse-4-ft-high

Helia Autoimmune-Hepatitis.

Hello, my name is Officer Jenny Doll-Chair, and you have the right to remain silent.

Kathryn Curling-Iron-Burn, at your service.

“my name is Julia Scissors and you;re under arrest”

David Scarlet-Fever, which is gonna be vaguely awkward since I’m female :/

Mine is Capitalism Ankle-Twist

Satan Scraped Knee

George Punch-Back™

Jilian Stubbed-My-Toe-On-A-Skewer

Chyann Broke-My-Toe-On-A-Door-Outline.

Gary DoorFrame