Client wanted a flyer with his signature on it in “shiny black,” on top of a black background. He was adamant that he didn’t want to pay extra for the “spot coating” that would achieve that effect in printing. I applied a shiny-looking gradient to his signature in Photoshop.

Client: Nice but get rid of the grey. Just black, same black as the background.

Me: Both can’t be absolute black, otherwise this will be invisible. How about I make the background a dark gray?

Client: No, I want all black. It won’t be invisible because my signature is going to be glossy, like you had it before. Just put the gloss back.

Me: But you just asked me to get rid of it.

Client: No, I said to get rid of the grey and make it shiny.

Me: I have to use gray - the lighter parts are what make it look shiny.

Client: Right, we need the lighter parts, but WITHOUT using any gray. JUST shiny black. I don’t know what we’re not understanding here.

Me: Sir, I can’t do that, there’s no such color as “shiny black” unless you pay for spot-coated.

He sends me a photo of somebody else’s business card. It’s all black, but the logo is, of course, spot-coated.

Client: Like that, look! It’s ALL black, and it shines!

Me: Again - that’s spot-coating. If you want your card to look like that, you need to pay extra for it.

Client: I know it costs extra! That’s why I just want you to make it LOOK like that!