staff:

drtweenusgonzo:

Ok, well, really they only have 3 different The Mask Animated Series tapes, but why do they have so many copies? Who donated these and why did they have them? Oh, fuck, now I have a lot of Mask tapes…

69 Mask tapes to be exact. They were all unopened. I don’t even have a VCR. Even if I did, I wouldn’t need to buy every copy they had. Why did I do this? Well, let’s get them out and play with them…

This is not very much fun.

Every tape comes with the most incredible coupon. Some tapes actually came with two, so thank you very much, packaging errors. 

The true bummer here is that these coupons expired 20 years ago. The $3 refund does not appear to be worth the effort and I wonder if anyone ever bothered. You had to buy 4 Totino’s pizzas, pizza rolls, or hearty pockets between 10/24/95 and 5/31/96, include the upc from the packages, the receipts from when you purchased those awful food products with the awful food products circled, this coupon, the proof of purchase tab from the Mask box and the receipt from when you purchased the tape during the previously mentioned dates. If anyone did this for $3, I would like to hear from you. Print out this post, take a picture of you eating the printout instead of a Totino’s party pizza, pizza rolls, or hearty pocket, and email it to me with a short story describing how you spent your hard earned $3. Anyway, I guess I’ll epoxy the tapes together and start coating them in resin.

Yes, and do something with those stupid coupons.

TOTINO’S PIZZA ROLLS SMMOKIN’! Now do it several times.

I can’t just throw away the boxes either. That would be terribly wasteful.

Surprisingly, I had more than enough tapes to do what I wanted to do, but the boxes came up short, so the other side of this had to be a little different. 

I suppose this is good, because one day I might want to know what I’m missing out on, having ruined nearly all of the precious tapes. I can just look at this side and read what the episodes were about. I think I watched some of this cartoon when I was a kid. I fucking loved the movie when it came out, so I’m pretty sure I watched this show. Anyway, what’s next?

Oh. I guess I’m really bad at taking pictures of the process. It’s a bookcase. There was only one tape I didn’t have to open.

Maybe I’ll get a VCR one day so I can watch this tape.

There’s just one more thing.

Bookcases are usually just so damn boring. 

Now I need Dark Horse to print some nice Library Editions of The Mask, because the out of print Omnibuses are Fuck That expensive online. Maybe if I hadn’t spent so much money on old tapes, epoxy, resin, glue, and christmas lights, I could buy one or two of the omnibuses in questionable condition, but then where would I put the books? I now have the perfect place to put as many Library Editions as it takes. Get on it, Dark Horse.

This is some of the finest storytelling ever on Tumblr or possibly anywhere.