Reminder For The 4th
Remember to mark your home with an American flag, so come Independence eve, Uncle Sam will know to pass over your home so he won’t snatch up your first born child
and if you have a pool you must dump all your tea in it
Don’t forget to leave out a six pack of PBR or Budweiser and some bacon for when he visits. You will be rewarded ever so greatly for your patriotic deeds.
Don’t forget to post all grievances you have with the British government on your door so the spirit of George Washington doesn’t think you’re a loyalist