gearholder:

fromchaostocosmos:

ceciliadavidson:

animatedamerican:

writing-prompt-s:

They tried to summon a demon. They got you.

“Look, I’m sorry, this is really awkward but – I’m not sure how you misspelled 'Bathym’ that badly, maybe somebody bumped your hand?  Anyway that’s what went wrong, the spell worked fine, but I’m not a demon, I’m a small tired Jewish lady from New York, would you very much mind breaking the circle so I can sit down?”

“well … at least you got me out of helping at church”

“Is everyone okay? Is someone hurt? Do you need me to yell at someone for you? No, everything is fine everybody good? Okay then can I get a lift home or something. For the record I’m pretty sure you fucked up somewhere along the line cause you summoned a short bitter Jewish 23 year old. 

Also like how are weird markings on the floor and salt supposed to stop me. Like maybe if the circle was made with bugs but like creepy ones. Also the least you could do is get me a cheese danish I mean you dragged me all the way here.”

*Noticing girl among the cultists* “Excuse me, could I look at your panties?”

“hey, I’m not a demon, I’m a witch. And a pretty bad one at that. I mean, if you want a month of rain I can probably help but other than that, I’m kind of useless”