citizen-zero

tbh I’d love a horror-comedy about a retail worker accidentally becoming a ghost/demon hunter because they’re just so unfazed by difficult and weird and bellicose customers that evil entities aren’t much more of a challenge.

“sir or ma'am or neuter, I’m going to have to ask you to stop crawling on the ceiling, you’re disturbing the other residents”

“please leave this place before I call the exorcist to remove you from the premises”

“company policy forbids me from accepting power from customers in exchange for my soul or firstborn child”

“sir, if you keep speaking to me like that, I’m going to have to end this spirit board conversation. have a good day, goodbye”

jumpingjacktrash

the walls start weeping blood. our hero gives a long-suffering sigh, walks away, comes back with a wheelie mop bucket and biohazard gloves. hey, it’s better than bathrooms on the overnight shift, at least blood’s not smelly when it’s fresh.

matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll

After facing Karen of the Many Coupons and Screaming Children, Asgortoh the Reaper of the Damned is no contest.

silver-tongues-blog

@rosexknight

rosexknight

Can…can I write this? Can this be a thing I do? Comic or otherwise? I kinda love the idea of it. Maybe the retail worker decided to get a chill grounds keeping job in a cemetery and stuff? I wanna do it.

silver-tongues-blog

Do it.