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yenantalk:

thetenderpassion:

Basically

“we all eventually have one.”

Except for those who aren’t weren’t “entitled” to exist past 18.

But wait… there’s more!

The author says he’s a millennial but the dude looks like he’s at least 45.

I’m being generous here because he actually looks older than my dad, and my dad’s 55.

HE’S FUCKING 58 I JUST FOUND IT HE LITERALLY SAID HE’S 58 HOW IS THAT A MILLENNIAL

THE CAP FOR BEING A MILLENNIAL IS 34 WHAT THE FUCK

How sway?! HOW! ^^^^

Wow, so many things to unpack here. 

First of all, one of the parts of the pledge is “I will not burn bridges”? Because no way any Chris Erskine-defined “adult” has ever done that, right? I certainly don’t know ANY middle-aged people (cough – family members, politicians – cough) who don’t even speak to each other anymore because of some arbitrary disagreement from decades ago.

Second, is he actually condoning spanking children?

Third, I like in the follow-up article how that quoted retiree says that no previous generation ever displayed entitlement. You’re going to go on record with this one, huh? You’re sure? 

Here’s the actual truth behind all of these anti-millennial articles: every young generation appears entitled and narcissistic and self-obsessed to the older generation(s). Every single one.

Oh did you want proof? 

Here’s an excerpt from a 1907 (yes, 1907!) article from The Atlantic on the subject of “Why American Marriages Fail”:

The rock upon which most of the flower-bedecked marriage barges go to pieces is the latter-day cult of individualism; the worship of the brazen calf of the Self.

Oh, those twentysomethings born in the late 19th century – SO INTO THEMSELVES.

In “The Generation Gap”, a cover story from a 1967 issue of TIME, an uncle wrote about the summer he spent with his 20-year-old nephew (the nephew contributes some writing, too). Many experiences are covered, including an exchange about whether or not the uncle (who also owned an advertising agency) would take on a certain client:

Then somebody said, “Would you take the Dow account?”

“You bet,” [the uncle] said.

“Even though they make napalm?” [the nephew] asked. 

…Even as I said it, I knew the phrase ‘to make a living’ could have absolutely no meaning to these children of the affluent society.

Oh yeah, those twentysomethings in the 60s – so affluent! No idea how to make a living. How dare they object to a deal that supported a business that made napalm, a product that was concurrently killing innocent people and exacerbating a conflict in Vietnam which many of that 20-year-old’s contemporaries were engaged in. But you could get paid! Napalm schmapalm! What a brat! (Another good part of this story is where the nephew introduces the uncle to pot and points out that after doing it ONCE, the uncle pretends to know everything about pot and the nephew’s generation. BOY THAT DOESN’T SOUND OBNOXIOUS OR FAMILIAR TO OTHER OLDER GENERATIONS AT ALL.)

The cover story from this 1976 issue of New York magazine labels the entire time frame as ‘The Me Decade’:

Once the dreary little bastards started getting money in the 1940s, they did an astonishing thing—they took their money and ran. They did something only aristocrats (and intellectuals and artists) were supposed to do—they discovered and started doting on Me! They’ve created the greatest age of individualism in American history! All rules are broken! The prophets are out of business!

SUCH INDIVIDUALISM.

The ‘Me Decade’ term was carried over into this New York Times article about “cynical and calm college students” not being all that engaged with politics, also from 1976:

A student at UCLA was more interested in an afternoon nap last week than a speech by Gary Familian, a Democratic House candidate.

Wow, college students didn’t want to go listen to a CANDIDATE for the HOUSE speak during school? How selfish!

In this Washington Monthly article from 1980, young people’s inability to maintain romantic relationships is repeatedly blamed on their out of control love of themselves:

It is tempting to see willing disappointment in romance as a symptom of self-obsession: since no lover can rival in grandeur the upper-case Self, what is to be gained from giving one’s affection?

Yeah, “nobody is as good as me, I can’t be bothered to love anyone else” was SUCH an exclusive thing to young people in the late 70s. No other age group has ever done that.

The cover of this 1985 issue of Newsweek shamefully labels young people as “The Video Generation” because with their newfangled cameras and portable microphones, they document every single thing in their lives. OH MY GOD WHAT ARROGANT ASSHOLES.

P.S., twentysomethings in 1985 were born in the early 60s. Which means they are now mid-50s… which means the above label and critique applied to the guy who wrote the Millennial Pledge article. Could you eat a meal without using your camcorder in 1985, Chris Erskine? WHAT AN ENTITLED JAGWEED.

In this 1990 issue of Time (titled ‘twentysomething’), Generation X’ers are called indecisive, more interested in climbing a mountain than a corporate ladder, entertainment-obsessed but with a short attention span, fearful of marriage because of the possibility of divorce, and “like Madonna in ‘Vogue’, this generation knows how to strike a pose.” Ugh. But the article did rank the then-twentysomethings as less-terrible than their baby boomer parents:

By and large, the 18-to-29 group scornfully rejects the habits and values of the baby boomers, viewing that group as self-centered, fickle and impractical.

Wait, but how could baby boomers be self-centered, fickle, and impractical 25 years ago? I THOUGHT MILLENNIALS INVENTED THAT.

Also: one of the primary implications of this whole stupid pledge is that in order to become an adult (a designation which presumably would cover all demographics older than Millennials), a person cannot act entitled… which is funny because I cannot think of anyone who acts more entitled than people over age 34.

I give exactly zero fucks what some snooty, over-paid, old white dude thinks of me. Exactly zero. For his information, I WAS spanked. I don’t know that it helped (nobody was talking about things like executive dysfunction when I was in school), but I was. I don’t believe I’m entitled to shit. And that’s why I fight. Because I’m not and that includes everything I am supposedly entitled to as a law-abiding citizen of the USA.

So, seriously? Go to hell, Chris Erskine. Yes, you hit a nerve and you’ll never get the real reason why.

“The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.” 

- Socrates (469-399 BC)

Honestly the most ironic part of this is where he says to be an adult you shouldn’t boycott comedians/speakers if you don’t agree with them, when a large percentage of “adults” literally disown their children for being gay…

Honestly, baby boomers are the most entitled pricks who expect instant gratification. Whenever the pizza place I work at gets a call from people who are in their 20s and 30s and we tell them the delivery time is an hour and a half because we are really busy, they’re like “that’s cool” and usually leave a $5 tip. when it’s someone in their 50s or 60s, they yell at me because it’s somehow my fault the delivery time is gonna be bad and if they do end up ordering, they don’t tip.
also, have you ever told an elderly person that the deal they saw on facebook isn’t for our store? because I have and she kept saying she saw it on facebook and I kept telling her that it’s only for participating stores which our store isn’t one of. then she demanded to talk to my manager and he told her the same thing.