charlesoberonn:

*Yellow Diamond’s ship lands in the middle of Beach City*

Crystal Gems: *pull out their weapons* Everybody stay back!

Mayor Dewey: Let me through! This is a “take me to your leader” sitatuation isn’t this?

Pearl: Wha?

*Yellow Diamond walks out with her Pearl*

Yellow Diamond: Who is this foolish human?

Mayor Dewey: I am… ehem… I am William Dewey VII, and as the leader of this little piece of Earth, I am here to give you this. *he hands YD a bunch of papers*

Yellow Pearl: What is this?

Mayor Dewey: Parking tickets. For 30 offenses of double parking. I mean, c’mon, your ship is huge!

*Yellow Diamond makes the face* (you know the one)

Yellow Pearl: My Diamond, this human is insulting you? What shall we do?

Mayor Dewey: “My diamond?”, what are you, her slave? You can’t do that! This is America. You’re on American soil, you can’t just own slaves here!

Yellow Pearl: You can’t?

Mayor Dewey: Noooo! My great-great grandpappy didn’t single-handedly win the battle of Beach City just so a bunch of magic ladies could come waltzing to America and bring back slavery.

Yellow Pearl: Well, you heard the human. I’m out of here! *Yellow Pearl gets off the ship and flips YD off on her way down*

Yellow Pearl: Where can a gem have a vacation around here?

Mayor Dewey: Here, I’ll show you!

Mayor Dewey: And don’t forget about the tickets, big piss-colored lady!

*Yellow Pearl and Mayor Dewey walk away hand in hand*

Yellow Diamond: What the hell just happened?!

Garnet: *wipes tear* democracy… *Star Spangled Banner plays in the background*