clientsfromhell:

Client: Help! My phones aren’t working!

Me: Is the internet working?

Client: No.

Me: Are there any lights on the modem?

Client: There’s no light under the “internet” slot, no. 

Me: Have you tried restarting the Router by unplugging it and plugging it back in?

Client: Yes, it didn’t do anything.

Me: Let me check the access point…. It appears our access point is offline, so there’s definitely a problem.

Client: Would that have anything with us turning the power off on the tower?

Me: You mean the tower with all the ISP equipment?

Client: Yeah – is that a problem?

Me: Well, yes, if you turned off the power to the tower, that would explain why you don’t have internet or phone access.  

Client: How soon can you fix everything?

Me: How soon can you turn the tower back on?

Client: Well, that might be a problem. We didn’t turn it “off.” We stopped paying the electrical bill for that because we didn’t think it was doing anything.

Me: You cut off the power to all of your ISP equipment, and now you want me to fix it from my end?  

Client: Yes! Please hurry.

I hope he found a full minute of awkward silence helpful, because that’s all he was going to get from me.

 

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