list of things that have actually happened in kirby canon:
- kirby devours several eels whole
- meta knight tries to take over dream land for no apparent reason other than “everyone’s lazy”
- dedede gets possessed by dark matter and his stomach turns into a horrifying mouth with sharp teeth
- it is HEAVILY implied that shiver star is actually earth, frozen over due to climate change and entirely abandoned by humans
- you get a really big sword. you kill several minibosses with it in one shot and then use it to cut a volcano in half. inside the volcano is a portal to a monochrome alternate universe which is in a constant process of being consumed by the void
- kirby gets his shortcake stolen and in the process of trying to get it back accidentally releases satan
- meta knight kills his own henchmen and destroys his own airship to test his abilities, then deliberately releases a really scary and really powerful guy for no reason other than “i want to fight him”
- the description of the final boss of kirby’s return to dream land describes him as “a liar and a wizard”
- you fight a big gorilla. halfway through the fight it just goes fucking super saiyan. it uses a goddamn spirit bomb on you
- one of the final bosses shoots his own blood at you. after you beat him he will literally tear out his own eye and make it chase you around in a last-ditch attempt to kill you
Adding onto the last one, after he is defeated he comes back from the dead in an angelic form to seek revenge. This time, when he shoots blood at you out of hit eye, you have to stab him in the eye with sharp crystals being launched out of a crystal gun, rip off his wings and blast a hole in his head before you start shooting at his plantlike dick as he jizzes on you.
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