Everyone is born with a tattoo on their wrist and the tattoos are cipher keys for the numbers that appear above everyone’s heads, which when decoded, display the approximate length of the threads on people’s fingers which are actually color-coded and the colors correspond to your fated soulmate’s sibling’s teacher’s favorite color, teachers who work on chalkboards and every morning the chalkboards mysteriously appear with writing on them despite nobody claiming responsibility, and the writing turns out to be coordinates and when you arrive at the coordinates you find strange glyphs which then must be organized and deciphered with the OTHER tattoo that’s on the bottom of your foot, and doing so gives the exact number of Wildlicious™ Frosted Wild! Berry Pop-tarts® you’ve eaten in your entire life.