So I got tired of not seeing any news on HRC’s actual positions because every single media outlet is busy fact-checking Trump’s latest Twitter tantrum, and decided to look some up.

Also, tired of stories about 26-year-olds complaining that they can’t get behind Clinton because they don’t know what she stands for, and also have no idea who Ralph Nader is, even though these frickin’ kids are only two years younger than me and also Wikipedia exists

But anyway. Hillary Clinton! Actual positions!

Guys, there’s so much to love.

• We already knew she wants harder regulation on the megabanks, right?
• Not as hardcore as Bernie wants, but in the same direction?
  
• Turns out she bundles that with a bunch of provisions to support and protect credit unions!
• Seriously, I love my credit union. And they’re tiny and responsible and don’t secretly open millions of accounts in the names of unaware users.
• Universal quality pre-K for every kid!
• Paid medical leave and new-parent leave. Not just for new moms, either. Regardless of gender.
• Funding childcare centers on college campuses for student parents!
• omg you guys, her plans for addressing autism. Note the total absence of the word “curing.” It’s all about “providing support” and “early diagnosis” and “improving access” and “increasing opportunities.”
• She’s full of specific plans for Alzheimer’s research and treatment
• Including supporting stem-cell research
  
• You know how otherwise work-ready people sometimes get stuck as unpaid caregivers when a family member becomes sick or disabled? Well, Hillary wants to give those people credit where credit is due.
• By which I mean, tax credit
• And Social Security benefits
• and you know the horrific unnecessary price hikes we’ve seen on EpiPens and various livesaving drugs? Think that oughta be a crime? So does HRC.
• Plus she supports emergency imports of similar treatments from other countries (the ones with quality safety standards, obv) if that’s what it takes to save lives
• Hillary stands with Planned Parenthood
  
• Supports more funding for VA mental health treatments
• And better training for police on how to de-escalate when they’re called in on a crisis situation
  
• Seriously, she’s coming at mental health from all sides, it’s fantastic
• Her rhetoric about the police also hits better training to deal with implicit bias
  
• Comprehensive background checks for gun buying!
• Close the Charleston loophole
  
• End the special legal protections that gun manufacturers get when the rest of the manufacturing industry doesn’t
• eyyyy, btw, guess where Sanders fell on that issue?
• that’s right: this time Clinton was the one dragging Bernie to the left
• Solar panels!
• I mean, clean energy in general, but “solar panels” is the shiniest part
• Automatic voter registration
  
• AUTOMATIC VOTER REGISTRATION
• No more harried every-four-year drives pleading for everyone to register, even if it’s inconvenient, even if there are serious barriers in your way
• No more “welcome to the polling center, whoops, looks like you were registered but it got thrown out on a technicality and nobody told you”
• Automatic voter registration!!
• Raise the minimum wage to $12/hr
• Still not the $16/hr we’d have if it had kept up with inflation since the ‘70s, but a big improvement
• I’m not even in a minimum-wage job and this would still give me a raise of at least $320/month
  
• and obviously the tipped minimum wage is a national shame, well guess what, HRC wants to do away with that
• Fewer loopholes and more taxes for the super-rich, including the Buffett Rule and a millionaire tax
  
• Hella infrastructure investment plans: covering our roads, bridges, airports, dams, public transit, and Internet access
  
• She’s planning to upgrade our 25 most costly freight bottlenecks
• Did you know our country had a cost issue with freight bottlenecks?
• Because I had no idea
• and this happens over and over with her policies
  
• things you didn’t even know were things
• but Hermione Rodham Clinton has already looked up the statistics, talked to the experts, and written the ten-page memo
• and listen, voting for HRC for no other reason than to keep Trump and his tax-evading business-bankrupting employee-stiffing racist sexist across-the-board-hateful loose-cannon general inanity out of office is completely legitimate –
• but if I never see another “why don’t we know more about her plans?? it is a hopeless unsolvable mystery for the ages!” post again it will be too soon.