If you really want to help people who have been victims/survivors of abuse and/or people with mental illness, please give a little more effort to how you speak.

‘You don’t deserve to be treated poorly’ > ‘Don’t let people treat you poorly’

‘You haven’t done anything you need to apologize for, it’s okay’ > ‘Stop saying sorry all the time, you didn’t do anything wrong’

‘They were trying to get into your head, it’s not your fault that they succeeded’ > ‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent’

Please focus more on validating, supporting and reminding people that they deserve better than the way they were treated, and the way they think about themselves. Please stop spreading the idea that guilt, shame, insecurity and maltreatment are things people bring upon themselves.

You’re not helping people if you blame them for feeling the perfectly natural emotions that come from trauma and mental illness. Nobody ‘lets’ bad things happen to them. Nobody ‘chooses’ to be hurt or ashamed.