chefpyro:

mugasofer:

AU where Sombra is the Tales of IT guy

>day 19

>boss comes in and says we have a new assignment

>we’re going to assassinate the president of Russia

>“Anon can you hack her and find us a way in?”

>shit

>google “President of Russia schedule” while wearing my serious face

>“hmm … says here she’ll be inspecting the Bore munitions factory tomorrow.”

>she looks at me

>“Very well.”

>time to google where the Bore factory is

---

>day 20

>attacking the Bore munitions factory

>turns out it’s a hardened military facility filled with guards

>oops

>everything about it is classified but I can see the rough layout on Google Maps

>boss tells me to make sure the target is here

>“oh, she’s here all right”

>military killing machines start sneaking in, killing guards as they go

>doing pointless backflips and shit

>I’m just wandering in the front door hiding behind a hologram

>hope nobody spots me on the security camera

>wander over to a console some guy was using

>thank god they’re already logged in

>check the security camera and my teammates are totally obvious but I guess the security guy is on a coffee break

>suddenly I hear a voice on the comm

>“Anon. The door.”

>Murderface is standing in front of a door surrounded by bodies

>suddenly realize he has no idea how to open it

>neither do I

>press buttons until the door moves but it only opens a crack

>“Anon…”

>play it off as a joke

>suddenly realize the button is a slider and I need to move it to the top to open the door

>I open it bit to make it look like I’m playing with him

>he uses his crazy nanotech enhancements to slide through the door before it’s even open

>he could clearly have done that at any time

>dude could have flown over it

>I guess he was too lazy

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