“I got a warranty on my headphones. They broke. I’d like this new pair.”

“Okay. Do you have the broken headphones?”

“No I was at the airport. I threw them away.”

“I’m sorry but we have to have the broken headphones.”

“Really?”

“Yes ma'am we exchange them for the new pair.”

“Seriously?”

Don’t give me your deadpan-ass voice you freaking moron you’re the idiot that threw it away. Did you think you just get a new pair because you can? No. that’s not how warranties work.