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Canadian Nightmare

JESUS CHRIST

WHO THE FUCK LET THAT EXIST

The Canadian regionalization DLC for Nyan Cat looks amazing.

This is nothing I wanted and yet everything I ever needed

Bless you Canada and your gigantic dinosaur snowplow monsters

Woo woo, motherfucker!

@a-mahariels-travels

Goddamned Mezolithic Megafauna’s what that is. Goddamned warranty expired on those things centuries ago, but do they care? Do they go decently extinct, like the ground sloth, gigantopethicus, or wooly rhino? Fuck that, they’re doing downhill runs on your favorite skiing course is what. Because Fuck it, is why.

Now I understand why moose are built the way they are.

It’s so they can gallop untrammelled through six-odd feet of snow.

Jesus Christ I read those mother fuckers could run 55km an hour but seeing it is another thing especially plowing through the snow

DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW
GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY

There is a reason when you crash your car into a moose, the moose is only left with a bruise, maybe some fractured bones, and your car gets totaled.

The fuckers are scary and you don’t fuck with them, and hope if they fuck you, they get it over quick.

Us Nords have a great amount of respect for Canada. If Sweden, Norway and Finnland are Skyrim on Expert Mode, then Canada is Legendary Mode. Only place with harder Winters AND bigger Moose. Difference is not TOO great, but it is clearly there upon inspection, and we know it.
“In frozen Norths… deer eat YOU.”

Given the fact deer that shed their antlers need to eat meat and bones to not die as easily, this is true. Deer are scary and dangerious animals, they have more kicking power than a horse, but a horse has more mass. Deer have pointy lil hooves too, which can pierce flesh easily.

Moose are like horse-deer, all the mass of the draft horse, and the demeanor of deer, look so adorable and placid from a distance, but unlike horses who have been bred and trained to not see humans as predators, they are like “SHIT! A POTENTIAL THREAT!” and then kick your ass to protect itself.

Keep in mind a small 40 pound mammal native to Canada can bring down a full grown full health moose…And that’s probably -why- this moose is running.