thegrandweebofedenderry:

cracked:

Obviously, while he’s distracted with his own monologue, you can throw everything you have at him and kill him. But the fastest, most surefire way to do the job is with an item most players ignore: the torch. It’s nothing but a simple torch Snake used earlier to find his way out of a cave, but if you jam it up The Fear’s ass, he goes up like a 1977 Ford Pinto.

Technically, the torch can burn any of Snake’s enemies, but most of them are smart enough to go somewhere else when you start poking them with flaming sticks. The programmers either forgot or didn’t bother to teach this trick to The Fear. He has no idea how to react to a colon-first fireball attack, so he will stand there and let the fire devour him. Because what maniac game developer could have foreseen players doing anything this strange?

Any player who spent an hour pumping bullets into The Fear in a straight gunfight knows he’s absurdly tough, so it takes forever for the fire to finish him off. Luckily, he will never figure out what’s going on, so sit back, relax, and enjoy the smell of roasting butthole.

6 Ways To Beat Game Bosses That The Designers Didn’t Intend

this is hideo kojima we’re talking about, he most definitely intended for you to defeat a boss by shoving a torch up their ass