rosexknight:

thatdruidbitch:

itsalburton:

thatdruidbitch:

itsalburton:

thatdruidbitch:

itsalburton:

thatdruidbitch:

itsalburton:

nastyukulele:

itsalburton:

nastyukulele:

illmaticraj:

Back at my old college there was a student lounge place I affectionately had dubbed “the weirdo lounge” because all the weirdos congregated there. You know those nerds who sit there and all they do is talk about anime, like those reddit pages, wear fedoras and shit? That kinda weirdos. So anyway the tragedy is that the Weirdo Lounge had THE BEST one person couch. It had a little laptop table attached and it was so damn comfy. Plus, it was always somewhat dark in there because of how the windows was positioned. So I’d go there to nap during my break periods. So one day I was napping when someone threw an empty plastic bottle at me and I snapped awake. A white nerdy girl from a few couches down said “I’m so sorry that was intended for my puppy to fetch!” and I’m like “DOGS?!” and I snap awake, that’s when I looked towards my foot and saw a whiteman. Sitting there. Like a dog. With his tongue out. and then he fucking barked. I was so infuriated but I handed him the bottle and he put that shit on the floor and then picked it up with his mouth. And then on all fours, ran over to the white girl and dropped it in her lap. I was so fucking upset.

Because I had to experience this post now too must all those that follow me. None of us shall remain untouched by this curse.

Why do I get the feeling this Dog Fetish Weirdo is one of those male feminists that talks about how he’s turning the table gender norms by having his girlfriend use a strap-on?

Sounds like something that may require introspection on your part, mate.

Friend,

I’m living in an age where the man about to take presidential office might seriously be a filthy piss-fiend.

Please bear with me as I try to wrap my head around the universe’s inner workings

I think Alburton and I are slowly becoming the same person. I just wanna go live in the middle of nowhere with my golden retriever and never interact with humans again.

You get out of my fucking head, forest witch

But I put flowers in all the vases and made cookies…

What kind of cookies?

Chocolate chip. peanut butter and oatmeal raisin

*hears Peanut Butter cookies*

…You can stay the night. It’s supposed to ice storm tonight.

Yay. My peanut butter cookies always make friends. I use them to bribe my neighbor into shoveling my snow.

I thought this post was gonna go one way but it completely went another by the end and I loved it XD