good responses to being stabbed with a sword (part 2)

• oh no i’m allergic
  
• it sword of seems like you’ve got a problem with me
• laughter. not the word “laughter”, just. laughing
• sure it’s the thought that counts and i appreciate the sentiment but does this gift come with a receipt
• you wound me. literally. you just. actually wounded me. that thing is really sharp. so you. don’t even look at me like that they can’t all be winners
• wouldn’t it have been hilarious if i just flew back like balloons do when you pop ‘em? can you even imagine? god. just. do it again, pretend the first time didn’t happen. come on. please