yourplayersaidwhat
Prime Suspect

So I’m running a murder mystery in Pathfinder right now, and one of my players wanted to examine the body of the murdered inn keeper to determine the cause of death. He rolled a nat 1.

Me (GM): Right. Wow. Okay. So you, Zev, approach the body. Lily is still kneeling beside it and weeping, and all of your companions are watching you. The five other guests at the inn are also watching you. You reach out to try and determine how Monty died, and you just… you just cup this dead man’s groin.

-Cue raucous laughter from all my players-

Zev OOC: Oh god! Oh no! Okay, I back up really quickly and I leave the library to go to my room at the end of the hall - but I leave the door open a bit so they can see I’m not trying to run away or be suspicious.

-Cue more laughter, including myself-

Me: Okay, wow, okay. So after cupping Monty for a few seconds, Zev - without saying a word - leaves the library and goes into his bedroom, leaving the door ajar. Not only does everyone now think you’re the prime suspect, they also think you just engaged in a little public necrophilia, and have gone to sort yourself out. You’re doing a great job at solving this murder so far.