gray-warden:

silver-tongues-blog:

cattgirl:

d&d is great
I just tried to slam a guy with a two-handed maul and missed, swinging into the floor
I roll for damage against the floor bc of course I do. I roll high. The tiles are crushed to bits
As a free action, I grab a handful of floor gravel and shovel it into my mouth and straight up eat it in an intimidation attempt
My combat opponent is horrified. I get +2 to hit him next turn

one time I jumped over a table in a small room and put a zombie in a choke hold. I popped it’s clean right off and added it to my inventory. it’s still unalive technically.

yeah @silver-tongues-blog sure, talk about that, but don’t forget about when our party had to spend half an hour battling a poison-resistant centipede that had more hp than me because you got your chaotic-neutral ass into some random room, tried to open a chest, and got shrunk. and then we spent ages trying to get you back to your regular size until i suggested walking out of the room. and then you got into a 6-second-coma because you chugged a random potion in another session. i’m not even gonna talk about the painting you failed to steal! that’s just the truth ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Hey, while those DID happen, I ALSO destroy the house and also a golem with my lute so my plans DO work sometimes