the signs as history of the entire world
Aries: Here comes the Assyrian empire-- never mind it's the Babylo-- Media-- it's the Persian Empire! (wow, that's big)
Taurus: ...they never got Ethiopia...
Gemini: Coming soon to a dank river valley near you
Cancer: It's sad. I'm sad. I miss you.
Leo: here's some huge heads. Must be the Olmecs.
Virgo: You could make a reli-- no, don't
Libra: It's a great idea. He was great. And now he's dead.
Scorpio: Don't worry about Rome, it won't fall.
Sagittarius: Actually, never. And also now. Nothing is nowhere. When? Never. Makes sense, right?
Capricorn: This whole thing is bullshit that's a scam fuck the church
Aquarius: What's on the menu? Communism!
Pisces: ...Wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere?
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