astrologysucks:

Aries: “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!“ It was………..Dumbledore!” 

Taurus: “Okay you can go now, see ya cunt.” said Proffesor Sinister. “Bye bitch.” I said waving

Gemini: “Voldimort wuz wearing a blak leather Jackson, blak tight jeans and fishnet pantz. He looked so sexah I almost had an orgy!!!!” 

Cancer: “He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I’m a girl so I didn’t get one you sicko.” 

Leo:  And den……………………………I jumped secxily in front of da bullet!11

Virgo: In it a boy and a gurl were doing it sudenly a cereal killer came lol.

Libra: “Why couldn’t Satan have made me less beautiful?” 

Scorpio: “I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT” Hargirid paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!” 

Sagittarius: “EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!”

Capricorn: “You fucking bustard!” yelled Draco at Vampire. “I want to shit next to her!” 

Aquarius: “Allah Kedavra!” 

Pisces: Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.