you-had-me-at-e-flat-major:

orochislayer:

lieutenant-cool-egg:

wanderlustexperience:

the-fandoms-have-fallen:

angryinternnoises:

patrickpotato:

riothrrrley:

gaydisneyprincessofficial:

jokes that will never be funny

• holocaust jokes
  
• fat jokes
• racist jokes
  
• rape jokes
  
• transphobic jokes
  
• homophobic jokes
• sexist jokes

jokes that will always be funny

• “that’s a weird looking dog”
• mmm whatcha say
• the audition meme
• doge 
• trolling beetles fans
• dad jokes 

ending long sentences with by fall out boy

Using the lyric “baby seasons change but people don’t”

Also:

• Severely overestimating a number of easily-countable objects
  
• Severely underestimating a number of nigh-uncountable objects
  
• Rickrolls

And

• Finding a picture of a weird face and slowly zooming in to dramatic music.

• Pretending people wearing camouflage are invisible
  

incorrect units of measurement (i.e. I have like 40 gallons of homework)

calling easily explainable phenomena “witchcraft”

• conflating two similar idiomatic phrases (e.g. are you having a kidding me)
• inserting the word fuck or fucking into unusual places. bonus if it’s in other languages (e.g. excusez the fuck out of moi, entfuckingschuldigung)

cutting off a sentence with the word gun.

replacing one word in a song with something that sounds similar but is vastly different (example; “what a shame the poor grooms bride is a horse”)

calling giant fictional dogs and wolves like cerberus or fenrir “puppies”

calling fully grown big cats like lions and tigers “kitties”