lilyvonpseudonym:

mattie-fresh:

dynastylnoire:

black-geek-supremacy:

dynastylnoire:

fattyatomicmutant:

motherhenna:

me, holding my newborn child: what are its stats??

Class: Infant
Race: human
Strength: 0 can barely support own head
Agility 0 needs to learn to walk
Intelligence: 2, understands that crying brings food, replacement of soiled garments with fresh ones
Wisdom 1 no object permanence
Charisma: 20 becuase people lose their shit around babies, -1 for each month until Terrible Twos and all Charisma drops to 1.

HP: 2

Spells per day: Cloudkill, Telepathic Summons, Sleep (casts on Self),

Infant fingernails: does +1 cutting/slashing damage

Infant head butt: +5 mele damage

Adult Earring pull: +2 Slashing damage

Vomit : +1 acid damage

Stinky diaper: +200 poison damage

Under what conditions would the baby level?

After 6000 crawls walking would become available

PLEASE DO NOT BRING BABY INTO COMBAT

BABIES DO NOT GAIN EXPERIENCE THROUGH THAT