if you ever visit my house unannounced I will assume you’re a demon wearing the face of someone I know in order to gain my trust and I *will* attack you with a big stick
What if I wander into your house on a stormy night, bearing an uncooked turkey as a gift and amicably yet ominously chanting about the sins of unnamed ancestors?
SON YOU BETTER PREPARE FOR A WHACKERING
why am i imagining chef acting like a bethesda npc about this
chef is a bethesda npc
what if its a dark and stormy night and i’m an elderly woman with nothing to offer but a single rose