lilithisalive:

momnar:

transhumanisticpanspermia:

vicious mockery is my favorite spell in dungeons and dragons because like

A) it does decent damage

B) it’s a cantrip

so canonically, a talented musician can murder commonfolk by hurling a single insult at them (average damage at 17+ level is 10, max 16.). imagine a chaotic evil bard who becomes a serial killer and the local guards are afraid to pursue him because you might go up and say “you’re under arrest” but then he just retorts ‘your mom is under arrest” and you fucking die on the spot

that same musician, if he can manage to successfully insult the world’s most fearsome ancient dragon 55 times without dying first… it dies. a process which would still take only about 11 minutes (assuming the bard has a spell DC of 19, meaning the dragon would fail about 50% of the saves.)

A Bard could kill a dragon over the course of a single Roast session.

I want to see a character built entirely around this single mechanic