cryptidbutch:

vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

my friend has one of those really deep wells (like 4 ft deep!) outside of her bedroom window bc her room’s in the basement so any time it rains a bunch of frogs end up trapped down there and I climb down to get them out.

and after a while I noticed that some animal (probably a raccoon) takes its food down there to eat for whatever reason, so there are a bunch of skulls and bones. I have special permission to collect skulls for educational purposes and deliver them to certain people, so now I grab those too.

Well today I climbed down in, found three frogs, and five skulls. So I’m climbing out of this pit with a frog and a ziploc bag full of animal bones and suddenly the fattest pug and boston terrier I’ve ever seen both come over barking

and the neighbor comes over to see what’s going on. and I have these bones and these frogs and I’m like “uh, hey!”

just got my. bag of skulls.

and she says “oh! they told me about you, hahaha! are the frogs okay?”

I’m glad this is my legacy.

it’s worth noting I have to like, put my arms on either side of the well and use my upper body to lower myself into it and then I like duck down and disappear so it HAS to look weird from a distance, no matter HOW many skulls or frogs I come out with.

Truth Coming Out of Her Well to Shame Mankind

you should record yourself coming out of the well onto a crappy vhs tape. but it would bea bit short so you should pad the video out with other cool stuff like the skulls and frogs. maybe some other wildlife too like bugs and deer. maybe an empty chair and someone brushing their hair to make it a performance art piece.