prokopetz

(And yes, I’m aware that later Metroid titles try to retroactively justify it by claiming in the manuals - though oddly, never in the actual games - that all those random giant monsters are actually ranking Space Pirate commanders. All I can say is that I’d love to see what those executive meetings look like!)

prokopetz

@kanatsubamarias replied:

It’s very hard to believe them when they say that creepy Chozo spaceship ghost is actually a Space Pirate, somehow–

I know, right? The fire-breathing space dragon I can just about buy as a pirate commander - lording over hordes of monstery minions is a traditional dragon role - but the sixty-foot mushroom-iguana? The giant man-eating prawn? How does that mission briefing work? Like, I want to see fucking Phantoon stroll into a strategy meeting fifteen minutes late with Starbucks.

rabidpeep

“Shit. I’m late again, aren’t I?”