out-there-on-the-maroon:

thebibliosphere:

systlin:

thebibliosphere:

systlin:

just-tea-thanks:

systlin:

systlin:

frenzy5150:

systlin:

untilstarsfall:

systlin:

systlin:

systlin:

So apparently Senators Collins and Murkowski have pissed of the white male members of the GOP to the point where some members have said that they’d challenge them to a duel if they were in South Texas

Anyway so I’m calling Rep. Farenthold later to accept on Sen. Collin’s behalf and I’m choosing Fists. Can take place in Iowa because if two parties agree to mutual combat, under state law it is totally legal here.

And if he accepts yes I will stream that shit live don’t be silly.

And after I beat his ass once for Collins, I will duel him again on Murkowski’s behalf.

Square up, bitch.

OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH GOD CSPAN BOUT TO BE LIT

Submitted

Originally posted by allreactions

SO I CALLED HIS DC OFFICE AND SAID BASICALLY THE SAME THING I SENT VIA EMAIL. 

After about 20 seconds of dead silence, the staffer let out kinda a little laugh and said “Well ma’m, I’ll be happy to pass on your…”

“I’m not joking.”

“Ma’m?”

“You think I’m joking. I am dead serious. You want my address? Or I’ll meet him at the airport. I am absolutely serious about this. Oh, and as the challenged party, I get to pick weapons. I choose fists.”

Another 20 seconds of somehow even deeper silence.

“I…I’ll pass your challenge on to the congressman.”

“No. He issued the challenge. I’m accepting. Unless he’s backing out like the spineless coward he is.”

More silence. “I…I’ll let Congressman Farenthold know, ma’m.”

“You do that.”

ANYWAY SO HOW DID YOU ALL SPEND YOUR LUNCH BREAK TODAY.

Also if anyone wants to contact Farenthold via email or phone and ask when he’s going to man up and meet me on the field of honorable combat I would owe you one, particularly if you’re in Texas.

Okay so I called. Intern didn’t even hesitate anymore. Just asked me my method of dual (I chose fencing) and after taking my contact info (which I flubbed the numbers on) told me he’d pass it on.

Excellent.

Did you ever knooow that you’re my heeeerooooo *serenades*

I hereby nominate Joy to hold up the boombox (or, since this is 2017, the Iphone) and play the fight music from the Pon Farr episode of Star Trek while I apply a rear naked choke to Farenthold.

You can count on me, boss.

I do not like to ill wish people, but I hope this man never again knows peace. I hope people offer to accept his challenge to duel everywhere he goes. I hope he can’t show his head outside without people approaching to slap him with gloves.