nonbinaryvexahlia:

nonbinaryvexahlia:

nonbinaryvexahlia:

nonbinaryvexahlia:

i fucking love pathfinder and dungeons and dragons because of how easy it is to break an entire game with a single massively lucky dice roll

unrelated: our GM wants every single person in my party dead, but especially our paladin

so, my party found a magical wishing well fountain, and on a whim a couple of us toss silver pieces in. when we realized that our GM was actually rolling for outcomes, and that some of the outcomes could be fucking incredible (the first successful person got a permanent +1 to diplomacy after wishing to be better at talking to people) we all started wishing for bigger, more character-motivation-important things.

our paladin goes quiet, and then says “I’m wishing for something the rest of the party can’t hear, let me text it to you.” the GM reads it, and decides that this has such a slim chance of happening that this wish is only going to be granted if he rolls a 1 on a percentage die.

he rolls.

he freezes.

he looks somewhere between terrified and furious.

at this point the table is freaking out demanding to know what just happened and what the paladin wished for, and our GM sighs and says, “Well guys, what just happened is aohdán told me to bend over. I said, ‘no, only if you pull a star out of the sky.’ and then aohdán looked me in the eye, reached up, and pulled down the heavens in front of me. and now i’m bent over and aohdán is fucking me in the ass.”

we still don’t know what the fuck got wished for, but we do know that the giant, world-is-ending quest has been usurped by something somehow more important, and our GM actively wants to kill our paladin.

“I’m still fucking livid. I have no words to describe the fury I have.” -the GM upon reading this post and reliving potentially the worst game decision he’s ever made

Hey guys. Guys. We figured out the wish.