steel-kun

Name a conspiracy theory superior in raw power to “there are no actual forests on Earth"

dream-cassette

imma need some context on that cause WHAT?

steel-kun

“forests” = minuscule form of what trees on Earth can be, basically saplings
“mesas” = not landforms, but petrified ancient tree trunks
IIRC the theory goes that all forests on Earth were destroyed ages ago and it takes them ridiculous times to regrow, with those giant mammoth redwood trees just being the oldest ones that have grown the most

maxeth

evidence 1:

big-bird-nerd

Who/what cut down the trees to make them mesas, for what purpose, and with what tools?

nahiri

I’ve actually looked a little deeper into this, and the short answer is that humans cut them down with future tech. This theory is a sub-theory of flat earth, as it makes use of a lot of the same basic assumptions about the world, most importantly that our entire worldview is a construct created by the elite that controls our world from the shadows. By keeping knowledge from us, they can treat us like sheep without expecting resistance. Part of this theory is that we had advanced machines and supercomputers way back, even in the ancient times, and that all history older than about 100 years is a lie crafted by this elite in the wake of a nuclear war in the 1800s.

big-bird-nerd

What would we use all that wood for, and where did it go?

nahiri

Rock is wood. Or rather, wood becomes rock as it grows and the trees reach massive heights. They essentially mined the trees for useful minerals and metals, and for the construction of whatever secret structres they use to control us.

sidisi

Steal dnd settings from conspiracy theorists every day bc this shit is too good