glitteryandroid:

• a rotisserie shithead
• Jamiroquai’s dad
• a new character in Candyland that only steals Twizzlers
• a vaudeville usher who’s trying for a management position
• if hepatitis was a person
• a big asshole
• the ringleader of a pornography circus
• the hype man for a (failed) 90s hip hop group that had a lot of conflicting stylistic opinions
• the St. Peter that meets fashion trends in hell
• a magician who doesn’t realize why he can’t get children’s party jobs
• a homeless LED sign salesman
• a pizza sign dancer from a dystopian future where we have LED signs but not any clothes
• a character from a Dr. Seuss novel that he decided to discard
• a worker at a shitty steampunk Gadzooks
• an undertaker for clowns
• a magical high tech pervert
• like he tripped and fell into a Spencer’s Gifts
• like a carpet fucked a nerd